So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
