Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My dad just said "fuck circus"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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