grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
