Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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