Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
