he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
