I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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