OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
