he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
