I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
