drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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