You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
