Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
