Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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