so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
