Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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