New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Randomize
