So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
