kristin has been a bad kristin
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The uberlube is also flammable
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
