people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
