GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
