He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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