Your face is a jimmy john
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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