Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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