Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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