I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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