how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
