i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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