the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
