I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
