After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
