Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
