well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
