Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
