im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
