I just saw a hot homeless man
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I'm really busy with my period
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