Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
