he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
