His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
