good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
