You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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