If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
