did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
