Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just threw up on my dentist
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
