There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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