apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
