was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
