he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
