the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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