i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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