then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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