Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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