having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
