Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
