I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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