can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
