God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
